Patek Philippe's Cubitus: The Square That Broke the Internet (And Maybe Some Hearts)

When Patek Philippe unveiled the Cubitus in October 2024, the watch world collectively did a double-take. Some called it revolutionary. Others called it... well, let's keep this family-friendly. One thing's certain: nobody expected Patek's first new men's collection in 27 years to cause this much drama.

The Shape That Launched a Thousand Memes

Picture this: You're Patek Philippe, the crown jewel of Swiss watchmaking. You haven't released a new men's collection since the Aquanaut in 1997. The anticipation is building. Watch collectors are holding their breath. And then you drop... a square watch that looks suspiciously like your discontinued Nautilus went through a geometry class.

The Cubitus (named after the Latin word for "elbow" - because nothing says luxury like naming your watch after a body part) features an eight-sided square case with rounded edges. It's like Patek asked their designers, "What if we made the Nautilus, but square?" And someone actually said yes.

Size Matters (And Patek Learned the Hard Way)

The original Cubitus came in at a whopping 45mm. For context, that's roughly the size of a small dinner plate. Or as one collector put it, "It's not a watch, it's a wrist-mounted billboard announcing you have money but questionable taste."

But here's where it gets interesting. At Watches & Wonders 2025, Patek unveiled 40mm versions. Because nothing says "we totally planned this all along" like releasing a smaller version six months later. It's like ordering a pizza that's too big and then cutting it into smaller slices - technically solving the problem, but everyone knows what happened.

The Price of Controversy

Now, let's talk numbers - because in the watch world, controversy sells better than a Black Friday discount at IKEA.

• Retail price for steel Cubitus: $41,240 (or as we call it in Europe, "a decent car")
• Grey market price: Nearly 4x retail (because apparently, people love watches they claim to hate)
• Your therapist's bill after trying to understand this market: Priceless

The CEO Said What?!

Just when you thought things couldn't get spicier, Patek's president Thierry Stern decided to pour gasoline on the fire. In an interview, he dismissed critics as "haters" who "have never had a Patek and never will."

That's like Gordon Ramsay telling people who don't like his food that they probably eat at McDonald's. True? Maybe. Diplomatic? About as much as wearing a Hublot to a Patek boutique.

The Design Debate: Innovation or Imitation?

Let's be honest - the Cubitus looks like what would happen if a Nautilus and a Cartier Santos had a baby, and that baby was raised by Apple Watch designers. The horizontal embossed dial pattern? Straight from the Nautilus playbook. The integrated bracelet? Nautilus again. The only thing truly original is the square shape, and Cartier's been doing that since your grandparents were young.

Some design critics have pointed out that the dial layout seems "off" - like someone playing Tetris badly. The subdials create an awkward triangle that makes the whole face look unbalanced. It's the horological equivalent of hanging a picture frame slightly crooked - you can't unsee it once you notice.

So, Is It Actually Bad?

Here's the plot twist: Despite all the criticism, people who've actually worn the Cubitus report it's... quite nice. The finishing is impeccable (it's still Patek, after all). The thin profile makes it comfortable. And the smaller 40mm version actually works on normal human wrists.

It's like that controversial movie everyone hates online but secretly enjoys. Or pineapple on pizza - divisive in theory, surprisingly decent in practice.

The Verdict: Love It or Hate It, You Can't Ignore It

The Cubitus might be the most talked-about watch release since... well, since Patek discontinued the Nautilus. Coincidence? Probably not. Patek knew exactly what they were doing. They created a conversation piece that happens to tell time.

Will it become a classic like the Nautilus? Only time will tell (pun absolutely intended). But one thing's certain: in an industry that often plays it safe, Patek took a risk. Even if that risk looks like a square peg trying to fit in a round hole.

The Bottom Line

Whether you think the Cubitus is a masterpiece or a mistake, you have to admire Patek's confidence. It takes guts to release something this divisive when you could have just made another round watch and called it a day.

But here's the thing about controversial watches - today's ugly duckling often becomes tomorrow's swan. The Royal Oak was hated when it launched. The Nautilus was called too sporty for Patek. Maybe in 20 years, we'll all be fighting over Cubitus allocations.

Or maybe not. Either way, it's been entertaining to watch.

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